Parade of fools

The media circus rolls on with the continued and unwanted presence of the former governor of Alaska in our lives.

No failed vice presidential candidate in the history of time has ever found anything save obscurity in the wake of a national defeat. Who here recalls Lloyd Bentsen, Jack Kemp, Sargent Shriver, etc. etc. For that matter, who remembers Garrett Hobart? He was vice president - during the first William McKinley administration.

So why hither the anomaly that is Sarah Palin?

She is now famous for being famous, just as unqualified to be Dictator as anyone else, a character in the center of an ongoing soap opera being played out in front of the cameras.

As with everything in the media, it all comes down to celebrity. When the media figures themselves frequent the circles of the powerful, it stands to reason.

Dickheads of the highest order.

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Not to mention that other celebration of dickheads, the Business Report's "Top 40 Under 40", filled as always with the ranks of lawyers, public relations "directors", bureaucrats, "principals" of an uncountable number of firms, etc.

In short, no one who truly enriches the world by producing something tangible of value. Really, what do lawyers do that adds value to the economy?

The goods producing folks roll on anonymously. But for the likes of the power elites that publish the organs of influence in this city, they could be all but non-existent to them. Because when you are one of the "little people", a different set of standards apply, for the powerful truly do not care whether you live or die.

The taser wielding Praetorians which terrorize us daily are proof enough of that.

Downtown for dickheads

It is a truism that downtowns and urban living are now "in" amongst those who ply the conventional wisdom (at least until the next real estate bubble commences in the far exurbs). Like most cities, our downtown here in the Stick has been neglected, waiting for the much hyped renewal it deserves from the moneyed elements. However, there are many unpleasant realities to contend with which stand in the way of such a revival: the armies of homeless people, downtown's distance from the neighborhoods of the professional class, the wear and tear on infrastructure and buildings which comes from decades of use and exposure to the elements, and the simple fact that downtown is "open" for all as the center of the community of all citizens.

So with our real downtown lacking enough of a cool cache for the latte set, the dickheadery in this city instead set out to construct a new artificial downtown for themselves, where all the real life, gritty elements that might upset their discriminating souls have been expunged in favor of a Disneyfied carnival atmosphere centered on high end shopping, entertainment, dining, and other elite pursuits - that is, stuff only dickheads could adore.

So let us pay a visit to:

Resembling a Hollywood movie set version of downtown more than a real downtown, this "town center" in the otherwise concrete wastelands of the suburban ring is a definite hit with the Escalade and designer clothing set.

Look, folks! I'm in Hill Valley!

By the way, if you can make out the lettering on the top of this apparently exploding building, it says "Perkins Rowe Town Hall." The first town hall in history, folks, which doubles as a modern stadium seating movie theatre. 

Indeed, the site is very attractive, and pulls in the crowds easily. The urban feel, intended to emulate an urban streetscape, is definitely a major attracting factor, and is far different in nature from its immediate low density surroundings. There is a complex mixture of uses which includes retail, housing, office space, restaurants, etc. In theory one could live, work, and play here without ever venturing into the forbidden zone of suburban crabgrass past Bluebonnet Boulevard.

In point of fact, this may be the most urban location in the entire city, given our actual downtown's decline into a moonscape of parking reservoirs.

But observing closely, you find that living/working/entertaining at "the Rowe" is at a tad different level than what you normal, working folks are used to:

For one, the grocery stores do not cater to an average Joe clientele.

Furniture stores, you find, sell hideous appearing "modern" pieces which resemble every "art" museum you have visited, each chair and table attempting to outdo each other in the race to appear as stark, cold, and sterile as possible.

Don't see too many of these in the 'hood. I don't know too many folks who make under six figures who might shop here. (This store, by the way, is one of the many in the development that are the only one of their kind in Louisiana - most of them outlets of luxury chains that folks here would never miss.)

The reality, of course, is that Perkins Rowe is intended for dickhead sensibilities - an elite clientele with exotic, often bizarre tastes unknown to Joe the Plumber and his other hardworking brethern. Indeed, they inhabit a strange, diseased world of their own, of chrome and glass and spinning shiny metal objects, where bling is king and style trumps substance or moral integrity. 

I do not blame the developer - this is where the money squats today. This is the end game of bubble Amerika - an endless parade of buying pointless, overpriced luxury goods and eating at deluxe restaurants for the "experience" above all else. It is the downtown functioning not as the working vital heart of a larger community, but the new downtown a la dickhead: an upscale luxury shopping mall with ample free parking, controlled public places, centered on amusement and self-preening as opposed to productive work and sacrifice.

And while this glittering bubble downtown built on debt and possible fraud (how else, the modern way!) thrives, an actual gods-to-honest downtown not five miles away which was built by productive hand lingers and suffers from lack of investment and activity.

God save us from all dickheads.

No more "E" Guarantee

The "E" Guarantee is no more!

Personal injury lawyer and local teevee advertising celebrity E. Eric Guirard has been disbarred by the state supreme court for "conflicts of interest, failure to supervise their non-lawyer staff, impermissible fee sharing with non-lawyers, and facilitation of the unauthorized practice of law."

Gotta love the legal licensing bureaucrats and their exclusionary ways. In the age of State supremacy, the dictators of licensure and qualification can deny a person their livelihood if they deem fit to do so. Who knows what 'crimes' Mr. "E" and his law partner committed to earn their ire. Suffice it to say that if you don't conform to the bureaucrats' whims, they can destroy you utterly.

If real crimes were committed, the market would have responded...by evaporating the business of the purveyors of the "E" guarantee, and transferring it to other legal counselors who play legitimately. Don't think that losing business was ever an issue for them, though. Some crimes, eh?

Of course I can't shed too many tears for the legal profession overall. They desired this set-up to make their profession "exclusionary" and thus closed to all but a privileged, well compensated elite. You reap what you sow.

Walls

This is a world of walls, figurative and literal.

Each society is comprised of a innumerable series of interlinked but self-contained social networks, admitting entry to a certain number of people apiece. These networks congregate around topics as disparate as shared interests, professional societies, or even a shared enjoyed propensity toward inebriation (as is so common within the dickhead classes). 

These networks are formed at precise times during the life cycle. Generally the years of formal schooling, in par-ticular higher education, are the formative times in which it is "acceptable" by larger social standards to form and reform basic relationships with others.

However, when that opportunity passes, the window closes, or at least this occurs in places with stupendously low social capital such as the empire of dickheads we refer to as the USA. The arrangement of social networks freezes into place, and it has been made deliberately difficult by our wise overlords (not) to penetrate these networks without extraordinary, superhuman effort.

There is no school, no formal tautology which teaches the budding entrants into the human race that once graduation day arrives and you have failed to connect, you are to be left utterly, completely alone. The networks are formed, the little knots of cafe society are arranged precisely, and comfortable arrangements prohibit disruption by the inclusion of additional members after the fact.

These social cliques are as closed off in precisely the same manner as the most exclusive gated communities for the elites.

In short, the social isolate, attempting to penetrate the subject after the fact, is faced by walls
both actual and virtual. This can take every form from quiet shunning to the in-your-face presence of a burly, mustachioed, truncheon wielding security "officer" stating that one's presence means we now suddenly "have a problem" - to presumably be rectified by blunt force in the absence of turning one's tail between the legs and immediately vacating the premises.

Those left outside are cast out into the darkness of atomization and anomie, a breed of faceless, presumed inferior Others who are not fit to exist within "higher" society. The downtown areas of our nation are filled with such souls after 5 PM - the homeless, the broke, those reduced to fetching their suppers out of garbage cans, the convenient refuse of "superior" people.

And it is said that fascism was defeated decades ago.

Let it not come as a surprise when the comfortable in power, the latte-sipping class fully behind them, see fit to remove the "inferiors" from society completely, with the lame excuse that due to economic collapse, we cannot afford to let them remain "parasites" on the body politic.

They won't call them concentration camps at that point. But the intent is the same - to remove the Other from sight, to the point of physically destroying him.

This is where we are headed. We erect walls around our comfortable lives, admitting no one who does not meet our warped "standards", permitting no interchange of ideas that might disturb our comfortable worldviews, refusing to take risks by admitting into our circles those that might be even minutely different from ourselves.

One might think oneself safe, secure behind the virtual walls of snobbery and privilege which are seeming protections against those who are deemed by society as "creeps", "kooks", and "schizo." And for a time, these protections have worked to their intended extent.

But the creeps are becoming deeply discontent with their assigned role in the Amerikan corporatocracy.

They are hardly satisfied with the disgraceful position in which they are held by their social "betters."

They resent the bare, unsatisfying life dealt to them, in jobs which provide no spiritual redemption, in a debased currency where they subsidize the benefits paid to their social superiors, to the lack of companionship which a corporatist atomized society provides them.

They most especially resent being forcibly deprived of the comfort which a loving spouse would provide, for the rest of their days, on account of being labeled as "sick" and "anti-social."

But who is the dictator of "social acceptability"? Who is the arbiter of what can and cannot fly amongst the crowd?

Follow the money.

Here I do not speak of truly ill types, such as the late sociopath Cho Seung-Hui and his fellow travellers. I speak of those who lack social skills, for one reason or another, but who do not deserve one single iota of the disgusting treatment dealt them by a society which revolves around the counterfeit pleasures of sports, alcohol, and sexual promiscuity.

If you don't resemble the artificial, underwear model, soap opera version of a "man," you are a "creep."

If you believe that government is not your friend and protector and never will be, you are a "kook."

If you don't immediately trust and say "Hi-de-ho, neighbor" to everyone you encounter, you are "anti-social."

If you use your mind, follow the evidence, and understand the true, ugly reality of Amerikan society, and refuse to whitewash matters when asked your opinion therein, you are "schizo."

Gotta love labels. Leadership classes find them convenient for their divide and rule tactics.

They have grown to make us fear the Other, when it is They who we really should despise. It is They who have debased our currency, squandered our wealth, slaughtered the flower of our youth on faraway battlefields in the name of a false "freedom", pauperized the masses and reduced our standard of living, and championed the perpetuation of faith in a fictional nonentity as "eternal reward" for tolerating all their other depredations.

So wall yourself up, dear dickheads. Keep shunning the Other. Isolate and marginalize large sectors of our society for the sake of keeping your wine tasting parties continue undisturbed by the 'uncredentialed' and the 'undesirables'.

See how far that will get you when the lambs come to slaughter, and you will be desperately begging for our assistance.

But nay, we will be hard pressed to lift a finger to spare your lives.

The dickhead must die

Dickhead Emeritus Jim "Mad Money" Cramer finally gets PONGED!!!

Witness this heroic shellacking of our favorite financial media douchebag by the patriot Jon Stewart, and the dickhead's lame rebuttal!!

Yes, dickheads such as Cramer exist for the sole purpose of transferring wealth from the numbchucks (as they are considered) in the heartland into the overstuffed pockets of fatcat high-finanz playerz on the Street and their elite power broker friends, hangers-on, and other assorted shady characters. Morons such as our Mad Money friend are no more than media shills for the perpetual bull market, the fantasy of a thousand starry-eyed fiat currency regime cheerleaders and other moral freeloaders.  

With their perpetual expense accounts and protection within a cocoon of a life of privilege and power, their world experience is far removed from the real world of the working man, the existence of living hand to mouth, paycheck to paycheck, at jobs which demand much and reward little. The humdrum, grim existence of the everyman, struggling to pay his bills to stave off starvation, is a distant consideration to those who need never fear want, lack of plenty, or scarcity.

But as Mr. Stewart implies, dickhead Cramer is but a fleeting symbol of the Regime which bonds us in gilded shackles. The media (financial and otherwise) merely functions as quarterback for a shadowy coterie of dark forces in high places, those who make the ultimate decisions which make or break (usually break) millions of people - serpent-like figures for which the lethality of their decisions never fall back in the way of consequences for themselves, protected in their elite "untouchable" positions where privilege and power are essentially hereditary.

The elites tell us to invest, and so the Amerikan sheeple comply. And then their savings and pensions evaporate into the pockets of the privileged, and then capitalism is blamed, so as to justify further public intervention which quietly serves to secure the position of the elites even further.

As Stewart says, finance is not a fucking game. Dickheads such as Cramer make it a game in order to pull the wool over the eyes of the economic illiterates in the auto-on-blocks set. And with the game of bread and circuses, our freedoms shink and we are further tethered to the dark forces of false prosperity who preach the eternal gospel of obtaining something for nothing.

Liars, liars, the dickheads all are. Their philosophy is that of lies and deceit, drawing people into the shell game, stripping them blind, then leaving them broken and destitute. In this manner they feed off the productive like scavenging carrion.

The dickheadery is indeed the scavenging class of the economy. Producing no wealth, consuming and borrowing to maintain their over-privileged quality of life, they merely wring their hands and speak of "unfortunate consequences" whenever their nefarious schemes inevitably blow up in their faces. But as always, the dickhead suffers no ill effects - it is the working man who sustains the twin blows of economic desolation and material starvation.

When will it be seen that the dickheadery is a pox on all our houses, a cancerous leech that must be extricated from the withering carcass of the economy if we are to thrive?

Only when this nation retools its work into productive ends will there be salvation. Until this occurs, desolation by the pretty boyz in suits is our perpetual fate as the looted class.

Earmarks shmearmarks

The skinny jeans and latte crowd is always quick to pounce on the latest "trend", lemming like, in order to retain the all important status of being "in" at all times. This by necessity extends to thought and manner, and thus short-circuits the process of critical thinking which is essential to the existence of a well informed citizenry.

So it is with the hulabaloo over "earmarks" in congressional spending bills.

What are earmarks? Earmarks are riders inserted into a spending bill by legislators which dedicate an amount of money out of the entire public budget for specific projects. They do not serve to increase the amount of funds spent, only to further the disposal of public revenues already appropriated. In this manner, elected legislators specify where public monies are to be spent. For in the absence of earmarks, uncommitted outlays are thrown into a general appropriations pool, to be expended at the will of the executive branch - that is, the dictator, working through his unelected Praetorian administrators.

This process, despite what you hear in the media, is harmless and actually beneficial, as dedicating revenues for say, a community center in rural South Dakota, prevents their use for other, perhaps more nefarious purposes.

The real insult is not how the money is spent, but how much money is spent. $410 billion and counting for the current budget, as the latest insult to the taxpayer attests - not to mention the inconvenient matter of a $1 trillion-plus deficit (and counting).

So why the "hype" on a logical non-issue?

This is just another technique the dickheadery uses to divert attention from the real issues in our society. The morass of intellectual simpletons into which most Amerikans have devolved are easy marks for the razzle dazzle school of propaganda. The skinny jeans crowd, lacking even a shred of personal integrity and ready and willing to sell themselves out to the Corporate power every time, believes every lie swallowed by their media overlords, abdicating their ability to think for themselves and apply their precious university educations to issues which could pose grave threats to their shallow gilded lives.

After all, we're talking about the same folks who think nothing of plunking down $200 or more for "destroyed jeans" at Hollister or some other such retail magnet of the metrosexual class. So why be surprised? Nihilism is their creed, orgiastic pleasure is their end.

Indeed, it will be their end.

The dickhead's world

Something disturbing this way comes, again, as the banksters and their allied elites conspire to game the system in order to further perfect the suction of wealth out of your pocket and into their greasy dainty hands.

I will let the illustrious Karen DeCoster speak here, in words far more eloquent than I could provide:

The really infuriating part of the credit card problem is that the people who were responsible with their cards, and remain responsible, are getting screwed by an algorithm. The upcoming blow-up, as I've been predicting, is people getting slammed on their credit scores. Good people, that is. The banks - especially American Express - are cutting back credit lines to minimize risk, thus some peoples' cards are made to look like they are "maximized" and that leads to some pretty large hits to credit scores. Even people with a zero balance receive a negative hit from a reduced credit line.

I watched a news investigation on how American Express was managing risk: a guy with a credit score in the high 700s and an immmaculate payment history was massively dinged on his credit limit because he made a few purchases during the course of a month at a few places (like Applebee's, etc.) that were singled out for being the kind of places that, in the past, were frequented by people who proved to be bad risks and/or defaulters. Another guy whose accounts were limited or closed had a letter sent to him from American Express stating the reasons why he was singled out:

"Our credit experience with customers who have made purchases at establishments where you have recently used your card."

"Our analysis of the credit risk associated with customers who have residential loans from the creditor(s) indicated in your credit report."

Americans are already buried 'neath this massive mess created by government and they are powerless to change their misfortune - they are losing their jobs, homes, cars, and the ability to function as free citizens in their daily lives. So now, as if everything isn't tough enough, at a time when credit scores will become more important than ever, people will be zapped on their credit scores, making it more difficult for them to rent a home, get a loan, or even get a job because employers are looking at credit scores as a gauge of character. The credit scoring system is so rigged and so unscrupulous, and now the mistakes on the part of big government and big banks are going to cascade down to ordinary people, making their lives even more difficult and discouraging. And all the government can do is take more of our money, bail out more fat cats, and pit neighbor against neighbor by promising a select few Americans a possible resolution for keeping their homes for a few months longer.

Is it getting any clearer now? Are you listening, folks?

If it was only deadbeats getting screwed, I would have no problem. Serves them right. But as always, the responsible are "asked" to subsidize the failures and shortfalls of the perpetual loser class.

The next thing you'll see is credit companies closing lightly used accounts, even for those customers which have paid on time and in full for decades. Ostensibly it will be done to "minimize exposure", in the words of dickheadese that financial "professionals" so duly favor.

But that's the rub. The credit companies don't make profits off of folks who pay on time. If you pay in full monthly while the grace period is in effect, the credit companies get nothing from you. (That's the only moral method to deal with these companies, in my opinion - essentially use their "products" as a charge card.) The financial conglomerates' profits derive from finance charges - aka "stupidity fees" - indeed, income deriving from those very customers who don't pay on time, who carry balances from month to month, and who maximize their credit limits.

The dickhead life equation only runs one way: suck my dick with no recompense. They have no use for those who play by the rules. The life of ease and no work derives from being in a position of power to profit from the mistakes and stupidity of others.

The world of dickheads falls into three camps:

Us - fellow creatures of privilege who inhabit the same wine tasting circuit
Them - the working folks, "nobodies" who "don't matter", usually those who work under dickheads
Customers - the blame fools who dickheads see as "profit opportunities" and who are dumb enough to be caught in their web of lies and deceit

My, my, I will have to update my dickhead glossary. So many terms here I neglected to add the first time around.

Dickhead behavior varies according to the world being interacted with:

Us - intense discussion of sports, drunken carousing, alcoholic beverages, binging, sexual perversion, and loose morality all around
Them - "Could you help us out with this project? But we can't pay you or provide you direct benefits for your efforts until we say so [fingers crossed behind back]. If you would do this for us, that would be great." (Classic dickhead closing line there.)
Customers - "This Windows Vista tutorial is additional with this $900 laptop, and costs an extra $79.99. We'll throw in a Internet Explorer 7.0 tutorial pack for free - it's an incredible value, a 15% discount! Also, we offer a one-year extended warranty for an additional $150."

(Note that virtually everyone can learn how to use of Windows or IE 7.0 with a few concentrated minutes of use. And virtually all warranties serve primarily as profit padders for retailers.)

It is a cold, mercenary world based around unearned profit, privilege, and how much one can extort without effort from one's fellow man.

To live at a higher economic level than one is entitled by one's efforts generally means that somewhere, the profits of others are being diverted to a subsidy train. 

The train ends now. The tracks ahead have been washed out by the economic tsunami. The all night carousing of the privileged glittering class stops now.

It must, if we are to restore moral sanity to our world.

Dickheads' last gasp

To-day is that favorite holiday of the dickhead, Mardi Gras. The entirety of the productive population of the Southland, instead of using their talents to grow wealth, is busy as we speak making a major effort to become as inebriated and stupor-like as possible, in a mass flight into decadence and delusion. It is the last orgy before the gray rack of slaughter which is our justified fate for our national wickedness.

This is all in keeping with the dickhead holiday from reality. Alcohol and indulgence in pretense and fantasy are the hallmarks of this willing delusion. As events coalesce to render this miracle of history untenable, the dickheads will increasingly cling to their fantasy privileges of the easy life and a constant stream of pleasure. It will be a day of great clamor indeed when the life of ease can finally no longer be maintained, when the unpayable bills to finance the constant orgy come due.

Even as I write, the Imperator is preparing to deliver his speech to the masses which is fully in keeping with this world of privileged artifice. Nowhere will the need to make the hard choices and the requisite sacrifices be heard; nowhere will the realities of the situation we face be exposed. Instead a shuck and jive, counterfeit message worthy of Oprah, of "hang in there, we'll get through this, somehow" is the order of the day.

Of course, with the late Stimulus of Abominations and other piles of pork now in the pipeline and coming to a bureaucracy near you, the path to recovery has taken several giant leaps backward, despite any outright lies which our Leader feels compelled to share with us. Thanx, B.O.

Prepare the bloodied blade. Priceless. The era of lies, liars, and willing believers of lies rolls on, to terminate in the land of mausoleums.

And now Bailout Ben, that master of all things economic, is actually claiming that the recession will end this year! He also claims that nationalization of the banking industry is off the table. For now.

Give him a few months:

"The economic fundamentals have deteriorated to an unanticipated degree to the extent that we are obliged to reverse our previous policy and commence a limited conservatorship of the major financial institutions."

I made that quote up on the fly. But guess how likely it is that this statement will soon emanate from Bailout Ben's serpent like throat. I would bet on it. (It contains the hint of the tyranny to come, but obfuscated enough to fool the undiscerning sheeple.)

Shame.

---

I was just waiting with anticipation for something like this to finally happen. You could see it coming from miles away.

Every year of late, murder has been the order of the day during the Carnival festivities in Chocolate City. It is yet another reason why I avoid that cesspool like a plague on the day before Ash Wednesday.

Another Mardi Gras, another parade route murder. The culture of death also rolls on.

Debauched madness

Here are some fly on the wall observations from the Spanish Town Mardi Gras parade, which regrettably passes too close to my abode for me to avoid:



The teeming throngs congregate their vehicles upon every conceivable open space, even along the freeway shoulder.



Crowds converge upon the parade route.



Here comes the first float.



Spanish Town Road makes for a very constricted environment for both floats and crowds.



Upon witnessing this lawnmower wielding dancing retinue, I could only shake my head in utter confusion over what had just transpired.



With the parade over, the "afterparties" commenced, the drunken orgies constricting the orderly flow of street traffic without nary a thought.

Afterparties being a dickhead invention, I bipped downtown to witness the parade aftermath:



Third Street was noticeably crowded.



Devastation on a war-like scale was left in the wake of the parade's passing.



Junk strewn in the streets is apparently a Mardi Gras tradition wherever you go; this despite the near saturation level of city garbage receptacles placed throughout the parade route. With the sheer amount of beads scattered about, it proves that Carnival is not about the acquisition of the cheap trinkets, but the catching thereof without having to resort to "scavenging" once they hit ground.

(Within 24 hours, though, not a trace of this garbagey scene remained, thanks to our hardworking and underpaid DPW streetcleaners.)



The parking garage which was constructed at great expense by our solons to service overflow Carnival crowds was, ironically, closed to use to-day and thus completely empty.



Therefore, motorists resorted to parking anarchy as any relatively flat and open surface was quickly pressed into surface as parking tarmac.



Even hours after the parade's end, drunken revelry continued into the night for those without moral scruples in this new age of austerity. But for dickheads, life is one long party anyhow, so why bother.

Paper pusher chase

The dickheadery never ceases to amaze me. One of their big pet peeves is keeping "young, hip" (insert metrosexual moan here) "highly educated" (credentialism again) people in the community and prevent them from bolting for bigger, brighter centers to which budding young dickheads seem to be attracted like flies to a candle. (Ever heard of freedom of movement, pursuit of happiness? Guess not.) So predictably the local dickhead coterie has established a web site that will wage an important role in the battle to "stem the talent drain"! Here it is in all its glory.

How lame can you get. These points are easily demolished:

Your dream job is waiting for you here. At last count, there were 15,000 jobs available in the Baton Rouge area; these include high-paying positions in IT, engineering, medical, financial services, and other professional fields.

Doesn't mention that half these jobs don't provide for a decent living ("medical professional" includes hospice workers, y'know), or provide for the advancement opportunities that budding young dickheads crave. Because to this narcissistic generation, it's all about the money: making it, and flaunting it.

Don't expect these jobs to be here very long, either. Jobs are a declining commodity these days.

Our economy is stable and robust. In fact, BusinessWeek just named us one of the top ten recession-proof areas in the country.

One of our few advantages. But this is mainly true because the area's economic backbone is bureaucrat work - state government, public universities, etc. Piyush the Boy Wonder recently cut some trimmings there, mainly out of fiscal necessity (the state can't print money like Ben and friends can), but there's still plenty remaining on the subsidy cart.

They don't call it Parasite City for nothing.

K-12 Education. That’s right, education. Don’t confuse Louisiana state averages with the Baton Rouge area specifically. Five of the top school districts in Louisiana are located right here in the Baton Rouge area.

Ha! Don't make me laugh. The above is technically true, in a manner of speaking. But for those of you from out of state who aren't familiar with the cesspool of unabashed failure that is public education in Louisiana, "top school districts" here translate into your middling to lower performing school districts elsewhere.

Recently the state assumed control of 12 EBR Parish public schools due to blatant long term underperformance. Two of the aforementioned "top districts" were essentially secessions from the EBR school district.

Dat's what happens when you have corn-fed, bottom of their state college class educrats "of color" at the helm. The lazy leading the lazier.

Universities: There's nothing like the culture of a great college town. And we have two great ones-LSU and Southern University.

Though BR has two major universities, don't think that the college set dictates the feel of this place. This ain't College Station or Starkville. Sure, a few well placed neighborhoods have a campus feel. But the primary demographic in BR is married couples with children. The major effect of being a university city is LSU football and all the hoopla that goes with that. (Not a problem if you like that sort of thing.)

In Southern's case, the ghettos of Scotlandville begin at the front gate. Big impact it has there.

Food. That’s one thing that hasn’t changed. You’ve lived here, so you understand. No further explanation is needed.

There's much better food in New Orleans. Take it from me, I know this for a fact. It's very hard to find a decent po-boy 'round here.

Though compared with, say, Buffalo, the cuisine is relatively swell.

Family. We love the tradition of family here. Whether you still have family in the Baton Rouge area or just plan to start or raise your family here, now is the time to come back to the people who love you the most.

Indeed, this is true. If anything, BR should appeal to a certain type of dickhead. The city is geared entirely towards the interests of Corporate Amerika. BR is a city devoid of interesting places, people, things to do, or destinations to visit. There is nothing else to do here besides go to your drone like job, work eight hours, and then return to your box like apartment or house in the suburbs. No pesky outside interests, nothing interesting or uplifting, that might divert energies away from profiting the mecha-Corporations that colonize the barren asphalt wasteland of our built landscape - the bank branches, fast food huts, big box stores, office parks, shopping malls, chain restaurants, strip centers, and filling stations that are the preeminent features of our urban architecture.

It is a very empty and demeaning existence, to say the least - but I hear it appeals to the corporatist, "career minded" imbeciles who hop jobs and cities so they can buy that new Ferrari.

But Atlanta and Dallas have us beat on that mark - economies of scale and all that. So oh well. Lame try that was.

If you want to know why many young folks leave this city, take that to heart. Stop trying to chase the corporate suits who are going to leave anyway, and make more effort to retain the rest of us here.

That is real inclusiveness - which you so claim to support. Or not.

The dickheadery strikes back - and the working man's dissent

Browsin' around the web, I caught sight of this odious article at the Business Report website. Quite frankly, it neatly summates what is wrong with society to-day quite succinctly in a nutshell, particularly as this relates to the cancerous dickheadery. This article is literally dripping with moral highbrowness and acid exceptionalism of the most perverse sort.

Let us read:

The face of change in Baton Rouge looks a lot like Dan Kahn—a 26-year-old, Harvard-educated public school teacher in a sharp business suit with a goal of improving the community through hands-on involvement. He is not a native. He does not bleed purple and gold. And he doesn’t live in the suburbs. Instead, he works for systemic change, lives in an eclectic downtown community and believes the monumental change will take more than just fixing the city’s traffic problems.

Kahn is just the type of person that city/parish leaders have talked about since the brain drain began in the 1980s. He is a committed and optimistic young professional with the ingenuity, humility and drive to extract the best from a city desperately trying to catch up with the rest of the country. But he’s one of the few Baton Rouge has.

In 20 years, the city will have the chance to reflect on how its decisions have impacted economic growth. What it will undoubtedly have to consider is whether or not it lost the Dan Kahns of Baton Rouge. “I believe in this city,” he says. “I believe in the people here. On a personal level, for myself, this is exactly where I want to be.”

If it chooses not to fight to keep him, it could lose a generation to the faltering job market, the battle for the “center” of the parish, stagnation in downtown growth and a community fiercely opposed to individuals who are different from the norm. But if it chooses to fight to keep Kahn and others like him, the city could emerge stronger, more united and with a better chance of sustaining economic viability in a fiercely competitive global market.

First, this term "young professional." So nice sounding, so pleasant. "Why, of course we want young professionals around, whoever they are." Do you? Do you really?

Why do we need "young professionals" so badly? What's wrong with older professionals, or non-professionals for that matter? Do the labor contributions of the working classes not count anymore? This is typical dickhead thought - only those people with advanced education, "good" jobs, and fat salaries count in the world. (Especially 'young professionals' like our friend above with, wait for it, a Harvard diploma [insert revered sighs here].)

And why do these dickheads wish to change things? What is it about this city that makes it so offensive to these people? Might we not have enough fern bars for their liking?

This city is an overall pleasant place to live. Boring, perhaps, but pleasant. Take that from a former resident of Chocolate City, murder capital of the universe, where thugs wielding AK's in the street are a daily sight, not to mention the cities of the homeless and the breadlines everywhere. People here have no idea how good they have it.

To reach that point, Baton Rouge must understand that actions speak louder than words. It must follow through on developing and sustaining a higher quality of life, it must accept the challenge of diversifying the job market so the city can offer high-tech, exciting careers to graduates. And it must realize that constantly suppressing the hopes of progress through parishwide feuds over libraries and capital improvement packages is chasing away the very individuals who hold the key to the future of Baton Rouge. Lose this generation, let them move to other cities and never come back, and Baton Rouge could slip farther behind the rest of the country.

And how, pray tell, are we supposed to 'catch up' to all those other 'young, hip' cities? The implication that (as usual) State action is needed is quite dripping from the above passage. Oh yes, let's turn to the State as always, to make life better for everyone! That always works wonders!

I would also like to know exactly what makes "high-tech" careers more redeeming and of higher social utliity than "low-tech" careers. Oh, my bad, we're exploring dickhead mentality here. Higher salaries means more tax revenue for the dickheads in charge. Serves to explain it.

Cities like Birmingham, Ala., Chattanooga, Tenn., Nashville, Tenn., and Richmond, Va., received the memo long ago. They grasped that change must happen swiftly so that when they are left to account for their actions, they will still have a place in the economic future and continue to be culturally relevant. Baton Rouge needs to learn from the successes and failures of those metropolitan areas that have risen above stagnation and intolerance.

Apples and oranges. BR is a small city and comparing it to Birmingham or Nashville is ridiculous on the surface. A small city means a distinctly different economy - a better economy, mind you, than the fiat money funded paper pushing racket that comprises the economies of most of these 'young, hip' cities to-day. (Can't you just hear the metrosexual "ohs" and "uhs" every time I write those words??)

What makes people so drawn to the 'young, hip' bullshit, I have no idea. Gotta be led by the nose and be trendy, I suppose. Didn't get NBC very far, though.

“I live in a world that is tolerant and inclusive of all people,” Kahn says. “I will love my students the same; I will respect all society members the same. Like Patrick Henry said, I may hate what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. We need a more inclusive community, and we’re going to get there.”

Don't make me laugh. The intolerance of boobus dickheadus is legendary. If you're so tolerant, dawlin', then come spend some more time on my side of town. Maybe it will open your spoiled little eyes.

And with that high level of education, young professionals bring progressive qualities to the table. The Wall Street Journal and International Business Times describe them as highly educated, highly energetic and highly demanding. They are more politically liberal and often take for granted the modern advances with which they have grown up. At the same time, they are team-spirited, diligent workers, eager to take on challenges and far more demanding of social and workplace equality.

When you see the word "progressive", immediately think "State worshipping."

If these people are the future, to quote an old song, "Future's so bright, I gotta wear shades."

Gotta love how the media likes to lump entire demographic cohorts into lockstep patterns of thinking and doing, as if all people of a certain generation thought alike, ate the same foods, enjoyed the same music, etc. Maybe true to an extent, given the slavish conformity of our age. But guess what, assholes? You have not even begun to consider outliers like me!!

Matt Dawson is another example of why highly educated young people are leaving Baton Rouge. A lifelong resident, Dawson moved last spring to Houston for work. Though he was employed at Joseph Furr Design Studios even before graduating from LSU’s landscape architecture program, he began searching for a more challenging work environment.

“After working there for a year,” Dawson says, “I realized pretty quickly I had no career growth opportunity. Plus, I wasn’t making any money.”

But Dawson didn’t want to leave Baton Rouge. “I was really looking to stay there,” he says. “I was dating someone, I have a single mom and I just like Baton Rouge.”

Ultimately, it wasn’t enough to keep him here. Nor will it be enough to bring him back.

Folks, witness the dickhead mind at work - career first, quality of life second. Follow the money. It's all about "career growth opportunities" now, not investing time in your community and waiting your turn for your time at the bat to come. (Just gotta love the corporate dickhead doublespeak.) And no, a year ain't enough time for that to happen. Patience, patience, please.

The creed of nihilism, folks, has reached a logical crescendo in this particular situation.

Finding jobs that fit the needs and desires of young professionals won’t completely alter the pattern of outmigration. It will take a little something called entertainment. Baton Rouge has already worked diligently to improve commercial availabilities like Perkins Rowe and Towne Center at Cedar Lodge, but young professionals often look for the heart of the city—downtown.

The never-ending need, of course, for dickhead "entertainment" facilities is as always paramount and drives much public discourse in this city. Shit, if I were Joe the Plumber, I'd be asking my elected officials why we cater so much to this singular, rather tiny cohort of people on a public level. Certainly they won't be inviting Joe the Plumber to their private cocktail parties.

Of course the answer is that no politician wants to appear to be standing in the way of "progress", especially if said "progress" translates into an increased role for the State. So when a benighted set of jackanapes proclaim themselves in all their hubristic glory to be "progressive," the powers that be will move heaven and earth to accommodate them. Wish the almightly solons could do the same for those who support laissez-faire capitalism and free markets.

"The question we have had to ask is: If there are vibrant downtowns all across the United States, why isn’t there one in Baton Rouge?” says Michael Trufant, the spokesman for A6, a group a group that says its sole purpose is to improve the Baton Rouge area.

Because the State owns about half of it, maybe????

“It all seems quite haphazard, doesn’t it? An empty building next to places where I have to follow a dress code, next to a somewhat vacant office space,” he says. “It doesn’t all seem to fit in a city that has so much potential.

“I really hope to see a much more coordinated effort in taking a long-term strategic outlook about where this city needs to be, because if we don’t start building for the future, we’re only going to be facing these same problems again.”

While most community and city leaders would agree with him, there is little done to set Baton Rouge’s downtown development on a cohesive, energetic path to change. Unfortunately, it will take that change to become an exciting city for the young professionals Baton Rouge claims to want.

Gotta love the adherence to failed statist models. Never is it questioned that State action is the key to strangulating our struggling central business district.

And what the hell is a "long-term strategic outlook", besides more dickhead bluster and blarney, a deliberate use of words that the "little people" could never understand?

At the end of the day, while jobs and entertainment are priorities, quality of life is an even bigger issue. One of the other attributes of the desired young professionals is tolerance and social acceptance. Millennials and Generation Y are far more progressive as a demographic—regardless of whether they are gay, straight, conservative Christian or atheist—and tend to be far more open. And they expect that from their leadership and their communities.

And why exactly is this a good thing, besides pushing the petty political agendas of the 'enlightened' class? Tolerance means also permitting moral shenanigans that would never have been allowed in a more intelligent age. Y'know, like ghetto parasitism and all that.

(OMG URBAN PRAIRIE SCHOONER IS A RACIST!!!)

Suck my ass, naysayers. I speak the hard truths on these pages. If you interpret that as racism, that's your misfortune.

Tell you what, when you dickheads start treating working folks and people who don't exactly mix in nicely at your wine tasting parties with respect and dignity, and stop denigrating their opinions and way of life, then I will listen to your spiel about tolerance. But until then, SHUT THE HELL UP.

That expectation makes the debate over One Baton Rouge even more relevant. The nonbinding resolution that would have welcomed all residents despite age, race, gender, religion and sexual orientation was a failure of the community to understand that economic growth with young professionals behind the wheel needs equality.

C.D. Wright, EA Sports’ project manager for the company’s LSU location, says, “That’s a huge factor for me. The city needs to be open. They need to be able to accept.”

Ooookkaaayyy....See my earlier post on this topic.

Yes, some merely symbolic and quite ridiculous State action was going to make or break my attitude toward this place!! I believe so firmly in making a hollow gesture toward inclusion! It's the thought that counts!!

Ultimately, Baton Rouge is left with incoherent messages to young professionals. It says Baton Rouge doesn’t want to modernize libraries and make them community centers if it means it has to give up a title or a little convenience. It says Baton Rouge will try to improve downtown, but not so much to rock the boat. It says Baton Rouge will give you jobs, but not the ones that you want. It will accept and love anyone like family, unless you are different—because that’s scary and unfamiliar. And when the city is faced with making tough decisions about how to shape its economic future, it will back down and let opportunity pass it by without stepping up to the plate with a valid alternative.

So basically, you've decided here in the above paragraph to essentially trash the will of the majority, to state plainly that the preferred way of life of the working majority doesn't count, that the working man's thoughts and desires don't matter, that we should remove our healthy suspicions toward people and entities (including the State) which threaten our quality of life, place our trust in the arbiters of everything that is "young professional" due to their 'progressive' nature and allow our natural 'betters' the power to control things.

A bald faced, naked grab for power could not be any less concealed here.

Glossary of dickhead euphemisms

The Urban Prairie Schooner Unabridged Encyclopedia of Dickheadery unveils its dictionary category entitled "Dickhead Euphemisms":

Between jobs - unemployed

Contacts - acquaintances encountered in the course of one's work that are generally not one's immediate co-workers

Let go - fired

Asked to leave - fired

Professional - means one has superflous credentials and thus employed in a job which pays far too much for the work involved, and has high barriers to entry thanx to credential creep

Lunch - an excuse to slack off

Happy hour - the dickhead's prime, where one goes to see and (in particular) be seen; also an opportunity for irresponsible behavior that would wind an average working man in jail

Young professional - a gratuitous concept of narcissistic affluent dickheads

Firm - a fancy name for a company; generally applied to legal and other small sized partnerships in the professional/technical field

Entertainment - something which involves showing one's affluent self off in front of others and generally making oneself appear superior to the unwashed masses; generally centers around copious and liberal amounts of alcohol consumption (ironically)

Arts - cultural material that is deemed unapproachable for the common man, but is of course perfectly understood by the 'better' set

College - Four to six years of nonstop partying and inebriation before real life begins, under the ostensible auspices of obtaining higher education

Cubicle - the highest and best type of office environment to which a lifetime is spent aspiring

Project - some excuse to occupy time and appear as if something productive is being accomplished (they don't call it a "job" because it ain't)

Team - the method by which projects are accomplished, because heaven forbid that the single individual mind can be trusted to produce anything of quality

Contact information - a way of fooling other people into believing that you are important

Diversity - incorporating a token number of people of color into the dickhead environment; does not extend to diversity of opinion or thought

Human resources - formerly referred to as "Personnel", but changed to suit dickhead sensibilities better

Last day - always used in the context of "last day at this job"; can be either bittersweet or (more often) spent with a security guard as desks are cleaned out

Redundancy, downsizing, etc. - corporate terminology for mass reduction of workforces; has passed into common language

Vacation - an elaborate affair lasting two to four weeks which is mostly undertaken to show off one's wealth and brag about the experience later; usually involves travel to an exotic foreign destination (most often Europe or the Carribean); does not include sea cruises, as even the working class can afford those now

Permanent vacation - an especially vicious way of saying that one is fired

Not a good fit (for this job) - means you failed the dickhead sniff test and offended their gentle sensibilities in some abstract fashion, so you are being sent back to the dollar store economy from whence you came

High school - ancient history (unless you are from New Orleans and attended an elite Catholic prep school)

Commute - what dickheads endure on a daily basis while travelling to work from their exurban McMansions and back again

Gourmet latte - something needed to survive, as important to existence as air and water

Shopping - a recreational pasttime which goes well beyond merely obtaining needed items, which involves conspicuous expenditure of money and may also include dining out, partaking in entertainment activities, and generally showing oneself off; venues include lifestyle centers and upscale shopping plazas, and exclude all discount stores and big box outlets

Alternative/independent (media, music, film, etc.) - something every dickhead claims to embrace (which doesn't make it all that alternative, then, does it?)

Planning - the most important function of government, because as we all know, without planning, the entire society falls into the chaotic anarchy of laissez-faire capitalism! (can't have that, can we?)