22 June 2009

The seven habits of highly ineffective people

For this the 400th poast, I will step into Doctor Phil mode for a while and ruminate on the habits which render even decent individuals ineffective and lead to futility and life failure. Even the most good minded souls may develop habits which are effectively self defeating and destructive to the well being of the self. These habits are greatly amplified when picked up by the cretinous mobs of the petulant and subsidized for which failure is a way of life.

In no particular order:

Live in constant fear - If you want to be ineffective, let fear rule your mind. Let it affect your life decisions and your social comportment. Always consider that something gleaming and terrible might happen to you at any time. Therefore don't think outside the box, don't innovate, live in the conventional manner, and above all...

Don't take risks - Because risk exposes oneself to the potential for failure, and thus they should be avoided at all costs. Of course, risks also open up the potential for reward. No pain, no gain. 

Sell yourself short - To be ineffective, you must constantly belittle yourself and hold a great deal of self-loathing. Feeling like a failure goes a long way toward actual production of failure.

Procrastinate - Procrastination is the ultimate hallmark of ineffectuality and failure. Putting it all off until the last minute ensures that the end product will be slapdash, subpar, and above all a steaming pile of failure.

Disregard the rights of others - The successful live by the maxim of the Golden Rule. But if you care to eschew that route, it is supremely important to antagonize, discredit, and otherwise rub the wrong way as many folks as possible. In doing so, you make no friends and gain many enemies. And with few friends and enemies galore, it is certain that your life efforts will terminate in failure.

Fail to make and attain goals in life - Because bouncing from situation to situation in life is important to establish your failure cred.  Without a concrete outcome in mind for your future, the trends of life ultimately turn toward sloth, squalor, and moral decreptitude.

Demand a subsidy - In the end, your quest for failure will lead to this end. It is not a pleasant end, since it equates descent into bovine sickness and assured moral and emotional destitution. But fear not! The teat of the welfare State will be your succor for a time. Just don't become too inconvenient in your animal bleats of starvation when your Imperial Leaders decide to cut off your "long bread" when the collapse comes. 

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