There are many of us in life (myself included) who sometimes, if not often, feel as if we are forever acting as poseurs in our various life pursuits, whether they be work, pursuing and maintaining relationships, acting as a friend or lover, etc. etc. In short, they feel like frauds and phonys to the rest of the world.
Often this is mere fear of failure, self-esteem deficits, or paranoid narcissism shining through. I wish not to delve into those issues more than I must. Indeed, most people are too self-conscious and receive their self image from the reinforcing reflection of the praise (or shame) of their peers and family. I know nothing about these sorts of hang-ups, since virtually the entirety of my personal contact with other people has been of an extremely negative sort. So I know what to expect from others, at least from a personal perspective.
But then there are those for which the fear that they are phonys indisputably is an accurate self-assessment.
What do I mean?
I refer to the hubris that is credentialism. Anyone who walks out of college with a certified piece of parchment that denotes "graduation" and does not intend to enter the engineering, medical, or hard science professions is a fraud and a phony, in the sense that a degree serves as a marker that one is 'trained' for this job or that.
A university degree is the union card into the dickheadery. Nothing more. It says nothing about that person's talents, abilities, work ethic, intelligence, or moral compass. It merely states that one did little of productive value for four to six years to fuck off and play the subsidized academic game of push and tug, so that one could join the anointed class at the end of the line by dint of passing the approved litmus tests. Or better yet, it means you literally blew off life for that period of time, and imbibed it in inebriation, carnal excess, and general licentiousness, with the same end result.
Credentialism, however, is only the first step. (Unless you have faked your credentials, aka your resume. But that puts you into the ranks of common criminal morons, so we won't go there to-day.) Once admitted into that golden circle that is the dickheadery, far greater lies and self-deceptions await you.
You find a job for which the tasks bear little relation to your formal education, much less anything resembling productive activity. You figure out the tasks and muddle through, wondering if this is really what a "career" is supposed to be like. But you like the high pay, the perks, the privileges, the financial freedom the fat salary allows you to finance a BMW and take vacations to Spain twice annually. And it's not like you're breaking your back or anything, or dear heaven, doing something demeaning like driving a bus or delivering pizzas or welding pipes together for a living. So you make a moral compromise therein. And thus, you begin to feel quite like a phony.
You feel like you are being given something you're not entitled to. The fancy cars, the good job, the nice clothes, the McMansion in the suburbs, the perfect children, the attractive if shallow spouse - you have it all, but feel you haven't earned it. Well, guess what? You haven't, really.
These are the perks of playing the game correctly, just as the power elite want it to be. You live your office drone life and drink your coffee and don't think too much, let the elites and the "experts" do the thinking for you. And lo! soon they've "thought" away your inheritance, the economic well being of your children, any semblance of stability in the currency, destroying your wealth and your perfect life before long. But they are very happy, indeed - and so you should be, it follows.
Because you are only a tool in the machine. You play the game until the elites are done with you, and then you starve.
It's not like you have marketable skills or anything to tide you through. Have you ever produced anything tangible in your life, like a ton of newly manufactured steel, or a completed automobile? Do you know how to provide for yourself - I mean, really provide for yourself? Do you know how to grow crops? Will your master's degree in business and your hot shot marketing and sales abilities be able to feed yourself and your family when the economic degeneracy comes, and the starving time follows?
Doubtful, I presume.
And the thought of it is, everyone else around you is doing it also, playing the game the elite's way. They have to play the game too, in exactly the same way. Your friends, your coworkers, your relatives with similar background - all play the game of the fraud and the cheat.
The game is, Fake it till you make it. The whole of society has descended to the level of Jayson Blair and his ethical peers.
Man has gotten so far away from his productive self. You feel like a phony because you feel the urge that lies inherent in every human to create, to produce, and you are not fulfilling that moral and spiritual imperative.
Do, be, create. Cast off the dickhead life and all its counterfeit, empty, and morally hollow temptations. Spit in the face of the feminine, soft talking "men" who populate that class like snakes and leeches do the jungle. They are not real men; they are pansies and fairies. They have sold their human-ness for pennies on the dollar, for thirty pieces of silver, so that they could become that sick amorphous entity known as a "metrosexual" - a being unlike anything else on earth, the final product of the culture of subsidy, the culture of ME - a being devoted purely and entirely to orgiastic, narcissistic self-pleasuring mindlessness. But lo, they will be devoured by the locusts like so many ignorant cattle when the time comes to reap the whirlwind.
Then you will no longer be a phony. You will again be a human being in full.
24 November 2008
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