An open letter to losers everywhere

You, sir, are a failure.

From day one you have been coddled. You have been coddled by family, friends, colleagues, and everyone around you. They did not want to make trouble and provoke your infantile ire. And for that, they now despise you and want nothing to do with you. You have never been presented a real challenge, because there was no way you would ever rise to the task at hand and attack it, and people around you know it. You have never demostrated an ounce of original thought in your life. You have always lived inside your comfort zone - safe, easy, and half-assed.

You have never even attempted to do anything that would better yourself, outside of what your parents and elders pushed and prodded you to do. You have never attempted to right your wrongs, to change your behavior, to alter your personality to be more pleasant and agreeable, and maybe gain a few real friends instead of trying to win people by raising their sympathy and pity (which is the only way you know how to get people to "like" you).

You are highly self indulgent and self serving. You love yourself more than anything else on earth. You have never given another person any consideration or any other part of yourself. You are absolutely terrified that anyone could have a negative thought about you. You refrain from association with others because you are afraid they might bruise your sensitive, precious ego, which above all else in life must be protected from reality. Everything in life must revolve around you.

On the other hand, you are convinced that other people hate and despise you. Why is this? Is it because you are terrified that, being rational adults, they might have figured out your game, that they know how you operate and detest you for it? If this is the case, which it is, you richly deserve every ounce of their spite.

People do not hate you, so much. When they actually think of you, which is rare and far less than you would indulge yourself to believe, they dislike you because you are self indulgent, and ignorant, and willfully negligent of yourself and others. No one likes to associate with a loser.

You dread that word, "loser." Why? Because deep down, you know that is what you are. You are an obese loner, a parasite who works an easy GOVERNMENT JOB at taxpayer expense, a emotional and physical moocher and a looter. You gain what little self confidence you have by saying to yourself that at least you are not on welfare. Get with the program, buddy. Welfare should never have been an option.

Your mindset is that of a young child. You wish that every bad thing in your life - your ugliness, your sloth, your gluttony, your cavalier treatment of others, your incompetence toward your affairs - should be miraculously removed by some third party. In your mind, you are never fundamentally responsible for your problems, no matter how much you insist this is the case - that is just a play for attention. In reality you feel that everything is someone else's problem, and you are one big misunderstood victim. You truly are like a child, scumbag.

You refuse to use your mind, coasting on your meager successes and your unobtrusive manner. You have never been able to follow conversations and trains of thought that import no interest to you, and it all becomes mush in your mind. Perhaps this is ignorance, but more likely it is you not doing your part to become a better informed person. The parallel to your lack of initiative to take care of your body is startling. In situations which call for creative thought to benefit the greater good, your mind lies dormant. Yet you are capable of incredible mental intricacies and intellectual feats, if the benefactor is you, to satisfy your self indulgence. Usually this involves trivial information of little importance.

You have not one ounce of desire or volition toward self improvement. If you did, your problems would be greatly reduced. If you just changed your attitude and personality, to exude positivity and success, people would probably accept you. But you are a snivelling loser and that is what you are, and you will continue on that route until something big, terrible, and tragic happens to you - and by that time, it will be too late, and everything will be lost for you.

The few skills you have perfected in life are: incredible feats of memory for those stupid trivial things which interest you; ability to parrot other, wiser thinkers if the ideology "feels right"; and of course the ability to bitch, whine, and otherwise pass the buck left and right to those who are willing to take on the responsibility of being a productive adult. You cannot cook, clean your apartment, service your automobile, eat a proper diet, dress neatly, clean and maintain yourself, or supervise other people without someone holding your hand. In fact, there are very few things you know how to do, or can perform competently, that every other responsible adult in the world can accomplish easily. All you know how to accomplish with ease is eating, sleeping, and defecating. Hell, you can't even hold a job for more than a handful of years, before your incompetence and lack of class and character catch up to you.

And to top it all off, you are a pathological liar. You have to be, to cover your ass and to hide your numerous shortfalls. You lie to your father, your mother, your brothers, the rest of your family, your co-workers and supervisors, your few acquaintances, and especially to yourself. Your entire life is defined by lying, and is underpinned by the biggest lie of them all, a dark secret which you dare never tell lest it ruin you. I hope very much to see you ruined by it. Maybe then will you understand that lying is criminal, and a sin. You are fundamentally dishonest, lack basic integrity and character, and for this reason alone no one should be allowed to associate with you.

You live in a fantasy world where you are successful and powerful, and you have powerful friends, and the world is a utopia. But this is a delusion, and every day I notice that you seem more and more to live in this fantasy world and less and less in the real world where life is lived. Perhaps that explains why the real world poses such a challenge to you. For half the time, you aren't even in it.

The best you can do for yourself is a crummy ghetto apartment and a publicly funded job which you can't even perform competently. You would not last a single minute in the private sector, outside of mindless minimum wage work.

You are a blot on humanity and a disgrace. You are nothing but a tiny futile speck to successful, confident people who gain the jobs, income, respect, and riches in this world. Ever stop to think that attitude counts way more than raw intelligence (of which you have sorely overestimated your own amount)? They laugh at you, and leave you in the dust as they easily capture society's good things - money, respect, contentment, the love of a good woman, etc. Because they know that a loser like you could never compete with them, not in a million years. If you think you have something to offer to others that they don't already have in spades, you're dreaming.

The sad thing is, you could be one of them. You could have friends, and be a respected professional, and find a woman who loves you and who you could love in return. But you can offer nothing to another person, since you are constantly sucking in and have nothing to offer anyone else, save your insipid conversation about (for example) the proper properties of road fonts. What a complete dolt you are.

You will never be loved, never fall in love, and most certainly no one will ever fall in love with you. You are a sexless, sickening automaton, a empty mind and an empty soul bereft of character or unique personality, which will never be permitted the chance to reproduce itself. (It is only fair.) To other people you are nothing but a tremendous blot of organic matter and body cells, something that merely exists and takes up physical space, but hardly anything to care about, or even think about for more than two seconds, or which offers anything to humanity. There is simply nothing there which to value. Your only human worth is the organic material which you will return to the earth when you die.

If you would just change - resolve to become like those successful, confident people, use your mind and stop thinking about yourself and your stupid, self inflicted problems ALL THE FUCKING TIME, life might just change for you. But you don't, predictably. That would involve too much effort and investment of time that would have to be made on your part. Instead, you react with envy, call your successful betters "dickheads," hate them for their success and lifestyle, and think that you are somehow superior to them.

What a fucking deluded sick demented nut you are.

Because you know, deep down, that they have you beat by the ass, and of course you don't like that. Life is a competition, and in your world you must always be the winner. (If anything else, you are always a sore pathetic loser.) So like a five year old you have a big temper tantrum, and cuss and stamp your little foot. You are such a sad, pathetic little man.

And you know all these things about yourself, which is the worst thing of all. And you do nothing about it, which makes you not only a hypocrite and a loser, but morally evil. The world would be better off without your kind. You contemplate suicide and realize that no one on earth would miss your sorry little ass. And then you realize how completely pointless and pathetic your life is, because you mean nothing to no one, and have spread nothing but crap, and have been nothing but a net negative drain to society.

YOU ARE A LOSER!!!!!!! GROW UP, ASSHOLE, AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!!!