09 April 2008


(WARNING: ADULT MATERIAL IN THIS POST. If you are 17 or younger, or are an equivalent mental age, please select the "Back" button on your browser immediately!! That means you, Cheney!)

(Since I am short of blog material, I give you this for your, eh, evening entertainment. Enjoy!)

Little do many know that I am an occasional writer of fiction. Bad fiction, really - cheap dime novel trash heavy on the softcore material (don't tell me you weren't warned) - but it does serve as a productive way to relieve those kinds of, ahem, desires in a productive fashion. (It sucks not having a wife or significant other to share one's life with.)

So here we go. This is incomplete, and a roughly fleshed out concept with regards to plot and all that, but the action is of course clearly described. For now it remains a snippet, meant to be a fragment of a larger story that has yet to be written, and likely won't ever be:

Linda Takes a Shower

As she paced through the Amazonian jungle to find a place to take care of her personal business, Linda suddenly heard a humming din. The noise intrigued Linda, as it sounded like…. could it be? Water, hopefully? She made her way through the thick brush of the jungle towards its origin. Tearing back leaves and tree limbs, she could slowly begin to make out the source of the sound…

….An aqua blue, refreshing lagoon which contrasted cool and soothingly against the steamy, thick oppressiveness of the humid rainforest – and a running waterfall, about seven feet tall, which fed it.

She sighed with delight. It did look so refreshing, and cool. Instinctively she fell to the edge of the pool to slake her thirst and wash her face. Yes, the water was delightfully good and refreshing as it went down her parched throat.

It looked too good to waste…Might she be able to? She hadn’t bathed in what seemed like weeks, and she sure as hell smelled like it. She looked over her shoulder, back toward the direction of camp. No, Miguel would not be looking for her….she had told him that she was going to relieve herself, and that it would take a while, as it always did for a woman. He would never miss her. A few minutes’ dip wouldn’t hurt… and it would do so much for good for her sore, battered body….

Linda looked at the remains of her clothes – her torn thin white, tight fitting tank top, meant really only to be worn as an undergarment of sorts for the sport coat she had long discarded; and the shredded remains of a dark navy blue skirt, meant to be worn as part of a suit. These business clothes had not weathered well at all in the jungle, despite their high price tag when she had purchased them new. Well, they hadn’t been designed for roughing it… and she certainly hadn’t expected their plane to crash, either.

The water looked so good… her clothes, her body covered in sweat and grime…this opportunity simply could not be wasted.

So gingerly peeking over her shoulder out of habit – who would notice her, with the thick foliage all around? – she peeled off her damp and smelly clothes….

…to reveal a delicious, delightful perfect hourglass form of ideal feminine physical perfection. Her waist was narrow and lithe, muscular from a healthy diet and a rigorous workout regimen; her breasts were warm, round, and full, the nipples red and delicious looking as cherries; her hips were wide, strong, supple, and carried her with the polite dignity of a decent lady.

But no wasting time. She plunged into the water, the sting of the cool refreshing liquid feeling wonderful against her sun scorched skin.


Miguel was growing worried. Ten minutes and she was still not back. He could not rest; something might have happened. He rose rapidly and set off in the direction she had disappeared into the brush.

It was not a good idea, to be separated in this manner in the jungle. Particularly in her case; she was a city lawyer, a norteamericano to boot, completely unused to having to survive in the wilderness. Even with that said, she had held up well, damn well if he might say. That lady was tough. Smart, too. She had survived this long, after all – she had outlived all the others, save him. And not unappealing in other ways also, he had to admit. He had often forced himself to pry his staring eyes from her lovely figure, especially her upper body. That tight little tank top certainly did much to accentuate her ample assets.

But that was not the reason he had grown to care about her over the past two weeks, perhaps too much for a stranger…. she was fundamentally a decent and pleasant person, with a great smile and a friendly, easygoing manner, and that made all the difference….

The roar was low at first, but as Miguel moved through the brush it grew louder. A waterfall, of course! If she had the need to relieve herself, logically this was the first place she would go to conduct business. He moved towards the direction of the sound.

As he approached the lagoon he could hear a slight splashing, growing louder as he approached. As the waterfall became visible through the trees, he could see it – and her….

Miguel could not believe his eyes. Her body was magnificent…gorgeous….perfectly shaped in every way…. ample bosom… delectable curves…. generous hips… and a slender, easily embraceable waist. She was easily as beautiful a creature as any woman of his country. She was nature’s gift to mankind….

She could not see him from his concealed position, though he had a clear view of her. He watched as she cooled herself in the refreshing flow of the running water. Water poured down her naked body, washing away the dirt, the perspiration, the dried blood, relieving the sores and wounds inflicted by walking around in a rainforest for nearly two weeks.

She was beautiful…. and the scene was extremely sensual to the eyes. Miguel felt himself growing aroused by this… absorbing his mind to the extent that he took no notice of the poisonous king cobra snake approaching his position from behind…


After rinsing in the waterfall the blue waters of the lagoon beckoned. For a while Linda felt content to swim around and let the cooling waters heal her sore muscles. Finally she realized that she had perhaps spent more time than she had anticipated here. Good god, Miguel would be looking for her!

So she made her way to the muddy bank and walked through the shallow water along the lagoon’s edge.

And then she heard the bushes moving….

Instinctively she immediately pulled her hands across her breasts and genitalia to conceal their generous proportions from prying eyes. “Miguel??” she called out. “Miguel…. please don’t come out… I’m not decent…”

He flew out of the jungle as if having been pushed…Swinging his machete, she could see that he was engaged in battle with a massive king cobra snake. Even she understood that they were poisonous.


As he swung his axe handle he severed the cobra’s head with one mighty blow…. then he turned to look at her…

She suddenly remembered that she was naked, and crossed her limbs across her body tighter. “Miguel, oh no…!” It was almost a whisper….

But he could only stare at her….. no man of his country could resist staring at a pleasing figure like that. There was no cultural sanction against simply staring where he came from….

Linda could see that he was not averting his gaze….

She dropped her hands…to reveal her pleasing assets.

“Does this make you feel any better?” she said icily. Her body stood erect and straight, her breasts turned forward, the curve of her back deep and full, her chin held high, her eyes low and casting a gaze of fire…. if she was to be humiliated this way, at least she would not show any shame or submission. She stood tall, proud, unvanquished.

“You are very beautiful, seƱorita.”

He had spoken the words in a tone of deep reverence, and he had certainly meant it. That could not have been lost in the interpretation.

“Thank you…sir…”

And Linda could feel her face growing warm, with shame… or was it? ....had this man just touched her heart? ....her busy life had left her little time for the company of gentlemen…. and this man had always been a gentleman to her…and had saved her life more than once… she could not deny the fact that she had felt something more than mere gratefulness for this man, and his deeds….

She averted her gaze as the beads of tears formed on her eyelids. Instantly he stood in front of her…. He lifter her face by the chin, gently.

“Do not cry, Linda. This was coming, and we both knew it. We cannot deny our feelings for each other. I love you, my darling.”

And it was true! she could not deny how she felt about him. She could feel the warm wet embrace of his lips upon her throat, his hands gently moving along her sides, tracing the curving outline of her body, and she knew that she was definitely in love….

She threw her neck back and emitted a deep throaty sound of pleasure… she could feel her sexual organs coming to life, and throbbing with energy as her body filled with desire for the man she loved… and she knew that she needed to physically satisfy the desire she felt for him…

“Yes, Miguel…. I do love you….”


Sorry, can't have the Religious Rite up in arms with a hair up their collective ass!

Hope you enjoyed anyhow.